Prozac

I know I posted that I started taking Prozac on Monday. Today is day five. It's hard to explain how I feel. I feel like it's obvious that change is happening in my head. But it's also made me really, really tired. I can still be pretty irritable, but I've also been laughing a whole lot more. I feel a little moody, which is weird, because I wasn't moody before Prozac, I was just filled with constant anxiety.

Every now and then, I can feel the beginnings of an anxiety attack, but then I just feel a little bit dizzy instead of like I'm having a full blown attack. Then I'm back to "normal" in a few moments. It's just that, I feel different. And weird. I can't explain it. It's totally possible that it's just because I'm so dang tired. I get weird when I'm really tired. Hopefully this passes.

Today I helped my grandma get her church website up and running and looking nice. The baby slept for four hours this morning, which was awesome. I binge watched The Vampire Diaries. I should have been doing other things (though I did set up a website) but I feel like I give no fucks today. None. I read The Vampire Diaries series a while back, and thought it was pretty awesome. It wasn't a thing like the show. Names are the same, but that's almost the only thing. The show has definitely sucked me in, but it isn't all that fantastic. Not like a book anyway.

I have, well had, a friend named Mark. We were pretty close back in high school. He used to tell me my stories were "so pointless". I know he was giving me a hard time and we generally laughed about it. But just now after I read my Vampire Diaries ramble, I thought of how pointless my stories can be. He wasn't lyin'!

It doesn't help that I feel like such a scatterbrain today. I can't tell if it's just that I'm tired, or if it's the Prozac messing with my head. I keep doing things that are weird even for me, and then can't really recall the through process that lead me there. For instance, earlier I got up and closed the blinds. Almost instantly I was frowning at myself and opening them back up. I couldn't figure out why I'd chosen to do that. I hate having the blinds closed in the day unless the baby's sleeping.

My doctor said this phase would pass, that it's common in the first couple of weeks. If it doesn't, I'm going to quit taking it for sure. I'm in such a funk, and thought it was supposed to take people out of funks, so..... Not to mention, when I drive, I have to continuously check my mirror to make sure the baby is in the car. I'm so out of it that I'm afraid I'm going to end up leaving one of the kids somewhere! I haven't done that before, and really don't think I could manage it now, but these last couple of days have just been strange. I'm definitely in a fog.